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I'm gonna be honest (it's about time)
May. 23rd, 2010 01:34 pmPart of the reason for my disappearance from all things digital (email, LJ, Yahoo...I've managed to stay on Twitter only because I have the attention span of a gnat anymore. Which brings me to the question: do gnats have attention spans? Do you see why I don't get anything done?) is that I've had a severe lack of motivation.
Severe enough that I'd call it depression, I suppose.
I'm not going to bore you with all of the well, boring, details, but I'll sum it up a bit.
Most of you know my dad had a massive stroke on 12/30/09. He was released from the hospital 1/21/10, it was determined he's not quite able to live on his own, so I moved back home. He had another "mini-stroke" (TIA) a couple weeks later. He's recovering well. Still has no use of his left arm, but it's coming back, slowly but surely. He was fired from his job of six years under suspicious circumstances, which I'm not able to talk about as we're pursuing suit. He's gone on a few job interviews, and a couple of them look promising, so cross your fingers. Other personal stuff I'm not quite ready/able to talk about. Blah blah blah.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've noticed a bit of a return. Able to get stuff done when I need to, not just look at a pile and say "eh." Work is stressful (for reasons unrelated to my dad) and home life is stressful and I have more gray hairs than one my age should rightfully have, but I'm starting to look up again.
I hesitate to get my hopes up, because I'm going to be quite honest with you. If my dad doesn't get a job in the next two weeks, we're going to lose the house and most everything we own. So, there's that.
He feels good about an interview he went on this past week, two in fact, so I'm going to feel good, too.
If this experience has taught me anything, it's that I'm perfectly satisfied with my desire to never have children. As bad as that sounds.
But, keep in mind, I'm still here. And I'll try to be around more.
Severe enough that I'd call it depression, I suppose.
I'm not going to bore you with all of the well, boring, details, but I'll sum it up a bit.
Most of you know my dad had a massive stroke on 12/30/09. He was released from the hospital 1/21/10, it was determined he's not quite able to live on his own, so I moved back home. He had another "mini-stroke" (TIA) a couple weeks later. He's recovering well. Still has no use of his left arm, but it's coming back, slowly but surely. He was fired from his job of six years under suspicious circumstances, which I'm not able to talk about as we're pursuing suit. He's gone on a few job interviews, and a couple of them look promising, so cross your fingers. Other personal stuff I'm not quite ready/able to talk about. Blah blah blah.
But in the past couple of weeks, I've noticed a bit of a return. Able to get stuff done when I need to, not just look at a pile and say "eh." Work is stressful (for reasons unrelated to my dad) and home life is stressful and I have more gray hairs than one my age should rightfully have, but I'm starting to look up again.
I hesitate to get my hopes up, because I'm going to be quite honest with you. If my dad doesn't get a job in the next two weeks, we're going to lose the house and most everything we own. So, there's that.
He feels good about an interview he went on this past week, two in fact, so I'm going to feel good, too.
If this experience has taught me anything, it's that I'm perfectly satisfied with my desire to never have children. As bad as that sounds.
But, keep in mind, I'm still here. And I'll try to be around more.
